Best Quotes from Christmas movies, Part I

“You've obviously never been neck deep in nuns.” - The Bells of St. Mary's

“My mom's boyfriend says Christmas is the time of year when Frosty fights the Devil.” - Unaccompanied Minors

“Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pringing ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots.” – A Christmas Story

“Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.” !”– A Christmas Story

“Nora Krank, we're here for Frosty” – Christmas With the Kranks

“This is your basic yoga, I learned it in prison. It's good for stressful situations like this bank robbery, or if you're ever in prison and you're surrounded by ten men, helps relax you.” – Trapped in Paradise

“Folks, my firm's done a tremendous amount of marketing research and we've discovered two critical things, one; most Americans feel that Christmas is a time for family. Two; most Americans feel that in order to stand being around their family, for even one or two days, they need to swill as much alcohol as humanly possible.” – Surviving Christmas

“I want to see her nipples. But this is a CHRISTMAS show. Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples. You can barely see them nipples. See? And these guys are REALLY looking.” – Scrooged

“I can't get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don't work. Did you try staples?”– Scrooged

“It's Christmas Eve. It's-it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” – Scrooged

“What is your favorite Christmas memory? You know what it is. Tell me. I was 7, my dad and I moved to Alabama... and Christmas morning we ate on the floor, ate French fries and drank chocolate milk. That's what Christmas memories are made from, they're not planned, they're not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry, they just happen.” – Deck the Halls

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.”
“I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. “ – Elf

“Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did, before you went to bed Christmas Eve? We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liqour, played with my shot guns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women...”– The Santa Clause

“Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it.” – The Santa Clause

“Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?” – Home Alone

“Santa Claus: What would you like for Christmas? Little girl on his lap: My own credit card.” – Brazil

“You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan. Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.” – Die Hard

“'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.”- – Die Hard

“The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.” - Gremlins

"The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath." - Christmas Vacation

"Our holidays were always such a mess. Oh, yeah. How'd you get through it? I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels." - Christmas Vacation

"Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic."- Christmas Vacation

"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we? No, I have one of those at home."- Christmas Vacation

"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."- Christmas Vacation